Good news
I'm not dead. Yet.
Hi all. It’s been a while. Reasons for my unplanned hiatus include:
The Watermelon’s missed and mishandled concussion at school, which led to
prolonged symptoms beyond four weeks, which led to
more (unmitigated) bullying, which led to
daily stress, which led to
panic attacks, which led to
awkward “conversations” with school staff, which led to
a worsening of my post-COVID vaccine condition symptoms, which led to
more awkward “conversations” with school staff, because, no filter with brain fog, folks!
a change of schools, which led to
time for all of us to reacquaint ourselves with normal life
Now that TW’s head has healed, more or less, and my head is finally above water, I’m trying to come to terms with the fact that life is not going back to normal for me. I think some of you know this feeling?
It’s uncomfortable as a 90%acrylic/10% angora sweater. Feeling sad, frustrated, thwarted, and angry—this, in my opinion, is not the best use of my time, and yet having ME/CFS symptoms has been taking me to this site often enough that I’m not a visitor anymore. Somewhere along the months I was gifted a free deluxe tier membership. Thanks, life.
Strangely, the more I’ve sat with these feelings, the less sarcastic my thanks has become. Upsides of being forcibly slowed by a new energy envelope, PEM, and brain fog, for me, have included
an ability to be present. I literally can only do one thing at a time now, whether it’s listening to a video, a person, or reading. No more multitasking is kind of … relaxing.
an ability to do nothing. I’m that weird person on the subway happily staring at the space in front of me (ok sometimes I check out people’s shoes).
lowered standards. This means I am more motivated to get things done when I have a few METS of energy to spend. Like, writing a maybe sort of half-assed post, but at least it’s out here for whatever help it offers you.
patience to play with our cats. I’ve been missing out on these little crazies love.
As a testament to lowered standards, I’m going to post this now, despite the fact that:
I want to write more
I want to proofread this better!
I have doubts whether this post is worthwhile to anyone but me (a few likes will go a long way, please and thank you)
I have a child waiting to be picked up, but I’ll leave you with these previews
Dec. 25th is my 9th anniversary of quitting sugar. I’m working on a Substack about that, with super easy tips and recipes. Does that interest anyone? Let me know and I’ll work harder. Haha, no, I can’t, but I will keep moving forward on it.
Any of you all interested in skincare products and makeup for tired and slightly vain older ladies? I’ll have you covered in SPF and a light tint in coming posts.
That’s all for today. Be well.